Sunday, May 2, 2010

that's just hot.

global warming might be responsible for a lot of bad shit, but now it's responsible for something unimaginable.

a polar bear/grizzly HYBRID.

that's right, two of the largest and most ferocious of all bears have been thrust into one another's arms by climate change.

this is catastrophic.

but let's be honest for a second: now that we know climate change is kind of a joke, we know that these bears are just USING climate change as an excuse to bang.


you know what i blame for this?? comprehensive and explanatory sexual education amongst bears. when you teach bears the proper names for its genitals along with how cubs are made, it encourages them to make bad choices. next thing we know we'll catch male polar bears getting it on with grizzly bear males, because that's just what sexual education leads to.

also to blame? feminist bears.

according to the cbc: "Officials say it [DNA testing] confirms that a female hybrid bear in the region is reproducing with other bears."

it's a FEMALE bear!!! she's just wandering around, mating with all of the grizzly bears she can get her hands on, because she's been taught that it's alright for female bears to do that.

it's not!! someone needs to pass a law to put these unruly female bears in their places. a lack of quality sexual education in bear schools should also be combined with gender role education, because these animals are just out of control.

dalton mcguinty should take note, because before we know it ontario bears will be breeding with one another being all like "oh it's climate change!" but really it will be because they've been too educated about the birds and the bees... and the bears.

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