money makes the world go 'round.

guest blogger C on the silver lining for BP in this whole "oil spill" catastrophe!

Thanks to BP the Gulf of Mexico may be a complete environmental disaster but at least all that oil isn’t going to waste.

According to the Associated Press, BP’s latest containment cap strategy, which has been considered a relative success (relative to doing nothing, apparently), was collecting about 11,000 barrels of oil per day until Sunday. BP plans to ad another recovery vehicle to the effort, effectively increasing the recovery capacity to roughly 20,000 barrels per day. That’s not close to all of the oil leaking from the breached drilling site but it is a fair amount.

In another story, BP estimates it may be August before a permanent containment solution is in place. Now that’s a real bummer for every living thing in the Gulf of Mexico, as well as along the Louisiana and Florida coastlines, but it’s not so bad for BP. If we consider that 20,000 barrels of oil per day is currently being collected from the site, and we can expect this to continue until, at best, August 1st, then we can determine that somewhere in the neighborhood of 1.2 million barrels of oil will have been collected over a two-month period.

If we take that one step further and multiply that by the current price of oil, which is currently hovering around US$71 per barrel, we can determine that BP stands to recover about US$85.2 million worth of oil.

I consider this a conservative estimation, since it assumes that the Gulf of Mexico site will be completely contained by August 1st, which it most certainly will not be. Also, I haven’t factored the usual skyrocketing prices of oil in high summer.

Regardless, I’m just so pleased to know that despite the overwhelming environmental devastation caused by poor planning at BP and seemingly non-existent regulation by the US government, at least it’s not a complete financial loss. Entire species of birds and sea creatures will be wiped out, but the wheels of capitalism will continue to turn.

It makes one wonder why BP would really want to stop the flow of oil from the Gulf of Mexico site, since that would represent a complete loss on the initial investment. Perhaps it does explain BP’s early attempt to drop a giant box on the site to stem the leak, a strategy almost certain to result in complete failure, but also certain to buy time while the company devised a way to recover losses.

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we only have one left... we'd better take care of it!

this is a sad, sad day.

rue mcclanahan of the golden girls died last night, at 76.

not only is it sad because blanche was my favorite golden girl but the tragedy is especially poignant because now we only have one golden girl left.

betty white, it's all on you. you are the last of your kind.

much like the last unicorn, you are now doomed to wander the earth alone and eventually save it from evil.

maybe that's a tall order for an 88 year old, but if any 88 year old can do it it's betty white.

now that there's only one golden girl left, shouldn't we be protecting her somehow??? can betty white be made a UNESCO world heritage site??

our new slogan

from the "best fake teabagger signs at the bostom common tea party", this kid basically sums it all up.



everything does, indeed, suck.

and for those of us waiting to see if that icelandic freak volcano is going to ruin our long-awaited trips, here's a little game:

Mordor or Iceland?

omg. there is POOP in this salad mix?!

plastic clamshell or plastic. organic or non organic. washed, washed twice, or triple washed.

none of these make any difference when you're buying greens, because they are all contaminated.
according to the most recent consumer report, packaged leafy greens that were tested had bacteria that are "common indicators of poor sanitation and fecal contamination, in some cases, at rather high levels."

you can read the actual report here: http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/index.htm

but you might be a little bit lazy, which is why you buy pre-packaged leafy greens, so i'll break it down for you.

right now in the united states there is no feeral standard for "indicator bacteria" in salad greens although there are standards for beef, milk, and drinking water. because we get a lot of salad greens from the united states, this is something that we might want to be concerned about.

the suggested unacceptable level would be about 10,000 or more of "colony forming units per gram".

with that guideline in mind, let's look at the results of the tests:

• 39 percent of samples exceeded 10,000 CFUs (or another similar measure) per gram for total coliforms and 23 percent for Enteroccocus, the levels industry consultants deemed unacceptable.
• 2 percent of samples exceeded French and 5 percent Brazilian standards for fecal coliform bacteria.
• Many packages containing spinach, and packages which were one to five days from their use-by date, had higher bacterial levels. Packages six to eight days from their use-by date generally fared better.
• Whether the greens came in a clamshell or bag, included "baby" greens, or were organic made no difference in bacteria levels.
• Brands for which there were more than four samples, including national brands Dole, Earthbound Farm Organic, and Fresh Express, plus regional and store brands, had at least one package with relatively high levels of total coliforms or Enteroccocus.

translation: you have to wash your salad/leafy greens before you eat them. rinsing them off won't really wash away any bacteria but it can get rid of "residual soil" which could contain bacteria and other fecal-related nasty things.

or, better yet, buy whole heads of lettuce and fresh spinach. yes, they also have some residual soil on them but they don't have to go through the same packaging process as the bagged stuff=less dirty hands on yo' lettuce.

enjoy your cursed bike, thief!!!!!

yesterday i was just sitting around, minding my own business, when some asshole walked into my backyard and rode away with my bike.

i actually saw this person ride away. i thought that it was my neighbour riding her bike through the yard until i realized "hey, my neighbour is a lady" and also "hey, that's MY bike."

the bike thief also got away with my lock, which was conveniently wrapped around the frame of the bike, and a rear light.

the jerk was wearing one of those ski coats from the nineties in neon blue and purple and also wearing some kind of white hat.

i gave chase but bikes are faster than legs and the bike thief got away.

so, if you happen to be wandering around the city of toronto and you see a blue and white simpsons-sears 3 speed cruiser(like the one in the picture below), with a black bike guard lock wrapped under the seat, it might be mine.

the bike also has a blue and white spring seat, not a black one like the one in the picture. the lady who i purchased the bike from gave me the nicer, vintage seat to replace the ugly black one in the picture.

last time i used the bike it was raining, so it might still have a lovely green shopping bag wrapped around the seat.

i'm sure i'll never see it again, but who knows.

also, the person who stole it should probably know that it's cursed. the first night i rode it i was hit by a car which leads me to believe that they will most certainly be hit by a car as well. they should probably return my bike before that happens.

"this conservative party has a deep vein of meanness to it...it's a party that kicks people when they are down"

yeah, kicks them in the uterus!!!

anyone who really pays attention to national politics will not be surprised by this madness, but some people might not know the glory that is saskatchewan MP maurice vellacot and so it's my duty to post this.

the conservative party line got a bit more creepy today as two MPs pull back their creepy white man face masks and reveal... well, more creepy old white men masks.

no scotia MP gerald keddy called out of work nova scotians "those no-good bastards sitting on the sidewalk in halifax that can't get work." he eventually apologized, although why he would say something so idiotic and horrible in a newspaper interview is beyond anyone.

maurice vellacot, on the other hand, refuses to apologize for his nut bag opinion which he publicly expressed in a press release from his office.

in the press release he states that it's a good and positive thing that abortions are becoming harder to get in saskatoon, sk.

he cites non-existent "medical research" and says that abortion causes "significant health problems...including a greater risk of breast cancer, cervical lacerations and injury, uterine perforations, hemorrhage, and serious infection."

his make believe research also shows that there are "long-term physical consequences of abortion" which include sterility, ectopic pregnancy, [and] premature births."

anyone who knows anything about abortions know that it is a practice that has an extremely long history of being safely practiced by women. wherever and whenever women have gotten pregnant, they've also found ways to abort that child. women used to do it with herbs that they received from knowledgeable midwives, until most countries accused midwives of being witches and burnt them all.

vellacott says that "pro-life feminists have also come to see abortion as part of a male agenda to have women more sexually available."

(and some of us pro-choice feminists see restricted access to abortion as part of the male agenda to ensure that women are sexually available to men, pop out babies non stop, and can never progress in any way beyond being wives and mothers.)

finally, he says that “the intelligent women of today are owed a full and complete disclosure of information on the life changing abortion effects and long-term harms... women are done a great disservice and are not treated with equality when there is not a fully informed consent.”

right, making abortion inaccessible is the direct route to gender equality. obviously. and also it is obvious that telling lies about abortion and its complications to scare women out of accessing abortion is a good strategy to realize "fully informed consent."

as an intelligent women of today, i feel annoyed that maurice vellacott is speaking for me. and as intelligent women of today, i think people should email/call this freak and tell him that an insane conservative deciding for us isn't exactly equality.

when i lived in saskatoon and went to the u of s i volunteered at the women's centre. i can say without a doubt that it is already difficult enough for women to find good information about services related to their sexual health, and conservatives like vellacott only make it worse. if you've ever done any volunteer work/school/been employed/whatever in a field related to women, women's bodies, sexual health, abortion, feminism, whatever then you should email vellacott and let him know how much harder he makes your work and how dangerous his message is.

also, please let's never let the conservatives get a majority....

Saskatoon:
Unit 3, 844-51st St. East
Saskatoon, SK S7K 5C7
Tel (306) 975-4725
Toll free (888) 844-8886
Fax (306) 975-4728
vellacott.mp@shawlink.ca

Ottawa:
Suite 610, Justice Bldg.
House of Commons
Ottawa, ON K1A 0A6
Tel (613) 992-1899
Fax (613) 992-3085
Vellacott.M@parl.gc.ca
www.mauricevellacott.ca

two year olds love to watch tv!

in the new york times today there was an article about a new study on how many hours kids watch tv.

it's not surprising that kids watch a lot of tv, but it was surprising that the kids who watched the most tv were only ages 2 to 5.

kids aged 2 to 5 watched more than 32 hours of television each week. that's like sitting in front of the tv and watching for a day and a half without stopping.

i get it, plop your kid in front of the tv for a few hours a week and it adds up, but 32 hours? that's insane. that's too much tv for a 2 year old. and what are they even watching?

when i was little i watched strawberry shortcake. i fucking LOVED that show. it was slow paced, but pretty, and the berry patch kids seemed like real kids.

it was cute. the theme song was about having a nice day with your nice friends, and you learned lessons.

strawberry shortcake, old school, was a farmer yo. she had to take care of those berry patches, because the best berries in the world don't just appear for nothing.

they also had to be careful, because the purple pie man always wanted to steal the berries for his pies. this taught kids about scary men who want something for nothing. in the wonderful world of strawberry short cake if you wanted to play hard, you had to work hard. it wasn't a perfect show, by any means, and there were definitely some questionable gender role lessons, but overall it was pretty good.



now there's a "new" strawberry shortcake who is "cool." she's tall and kind of skinny and she wears normal clothes. it's just not right. the theme song isn't very good and its just overall a stupid show.

i also used to love rainbow brite, which apparently is also getting a "makeover." there is no need to make her over! she single handedly defended the kingdom against murky and lurky and wore a sneaker/leg warmer combo. leave her alone!

so kids are watching more tv, and more crappier tv?

no wonder the world is fuct.

NO. no no no no no. no. please god no.

if rainbow brite were a real person, and she had facebook, her status would read: FML.

that's because the powers that be have decided that the time is ripe for a rainbow brite remake.

in true remake fashion they've decided to make her and her friends skinnier, taller, with pouty lips and big makeup-ey eyes.

even the horses look sluttier.

perez hilton aptly writes: "just what little girls need - another image they can't conform to!"

enough! no more remakes!!!

and we all thought this day would never come...

oh noooo!!!

there are many media sources claiming that michael jackson, who was taken to hospital today because of a heart attack or something, is actually DEAD.

dead!!

while it's being reported through numerous outlets, its all still alleged and based on a TMZ.com report... and TMZ is almost always right..

is michael jackson dead?!