Saturday, November 21, 2009

dear jerk infertile white people: stop whining, please.

i have a serious, serious problem with so called "fertility treatments" and people who are willing to do anything to have a biological child (like in this post--here)

i'm not going to sugar coat it, i think it's selfish. i think it's extremely out of date, and elitist.


so when i read this article in the star about the black market for human eggs i was just like, what the fuck people.

i'm so sick and tired of reading articles that make infertile couples such a sad, sad sob story. you're alive, you're healthy, you're usually wealthy enough to spend thousand upon thousand of dollars on crazy procedures, and you think you're the worst off person in the world because you can't grow a baby in your uterus and pop it out the tradition way?

give me a break.

the story is about a woman named "thea" who wants a baby(she's 39, so her options are limited apparently). because you can't legally buy eggs in canada she needs to go out and find someone willing to sell their eggs to her "illegally" which is apparently "draining" emotionally.

um, you want a baby so why don't you deal with the draining emotions?

so she posts on kijiji and within days she starts getting responses and this is what she said about them:

"few of the replies were worth considering: some women were too short, others the wrong ethnicity"

what the fuck? too short? the wrong ethnicity? you're SO sad because you can't have a baby but you won't buy a short woman's egg?

i'm sorry, but this proves my point about how selfish, elitist, and also racist this whole process is.

don't they even know anything about genes?? just because the mother is short doesn't mean her egg will produce a short baby.

and also, what's wrong with having a short baby??

it's eugenics, plain and simple, what is the difference between this and only buying the egg of a blonde haired/blue eyed woman that is guaranteed to be born a boy?

i'm sorry, toronto star, but i refuse to feel bad for couples like this--ever.


3 comments:

Hans said...

YISSS!! Nonsense like this makes me so mad. I have nothing against kids or having kids (at least not like I used to); they can be cute and fun and all that, but that’s *no* reason to consider the desire/ability to have a kid as anywhere *near* the top of the priority list for society. While money/research could be spent far more effectively on trying to cure/prevent diseases/conditions and other forms of suffering that are affecting already-existing people! All the racist attitudes in that article aside, to me it’s the ultimate selfish/self-centred ego-trip...and what does it say about our communities that people seem to think the only way they can get a sense of validation in their life is by creating somebody smaller tinier and weaker than they are to worship and obey them?? Like, talk about an inferiority complex gone mad?? And it also makes me angry that people are willing to invest so much time and energy and money/resources into having little kids when their communities are falling apart around them. Like, if you have such a care-deficit in your life (i.e. you want to care for and with people, which I understand and think is natural and healthy), there’s *plenty* of people needing care in society – elderly seniors, the homeless, orphans, refugees, those ill or afflicted by medical conditions, lost kittens – who you should focus on, rather than creating some new creature. Where do people get off thinking they have the *right* to have a kid? I mean I’d *love* to have a marmoset to cuddle with, but doesn’t mean I should be able to move heaven and earth to get one. ARGH. I’m possibly ignoring some reason why it should be a fundamental right and if so please educate me, but otherwise I don’t understand it...especially when there’s far too many people in the world already who don’t have anybody to care for them...

tee said...

"if you have such a care-deficit in your life (i.e. you want to care for and with people, which I understand and think is natural and healthy), there’s *plenty* of people needing care in society – elderly seniors, the homeless, orphans, refugees, those ill or afflicted by medical conditions, lost kittens – who you should focus on, rather than creating some new creature."

exactly!! this is what always drives me crazy about the people in these articles--isn't there someone/something out there that exists that needs a home/love? a pound puppy? a rescue dog? an ORPHAN!

i guess the problem is that people have been socialized to think that they have a fundamental human right to procreate a little them. but in reality, is a child that doesn't resemble you really going to ruin your life? you can't muster up enough love to give to a "wrong ethnicity" baby?

also, if you choose to pursue this life choice, then i feel that you shouldn't whine about it. because, we all have problems, but not all of us get to air them in the media.

elle said...

I think we have to be careful of individualizing this issue. I certainly agree that people who will do anything for a biological child are extremely privileged and that these treatments are problematic (and harmful) to say the least. However, we have to contextualize this issue and realize that this desire for a biological child is part of repressive gender ideologies which value women, in large part, on their ability to produce children. Men's identities are also often dependant on this. Thus, I think it is perfectly understandable that people will go to great lengths to have a child. We also have to keep in mind the power of pharmaceutical companies in reinforcing this perceived need.

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