Tuesday, August 25, 2009

there's really only one way to fix this mess..

now we all know that in issue 600 of "archie", archie proposed to veronica. before the issue was actually revealed, however, it was up in the air just who archie would choose to marry: betty or veronica?

i didn't think he should chose either, you can read why here.

but in the end, archie did choose and he chose veronica lodge.

there are a lot of things i don't like about this, the marriage part for one. secondly, how long has the archie empire had to prepare for this cover? archie is proposing to someone and this is the cover they chose?
why is it happening inside the jewellery store? archie didn't take veronica somewhere romantic or special to pop the question that's been coming for like sixty years?

typical archie.

archie has always been a bumbling fool and this proposal cover only further solidifies this fact.

also, of course betty is outside the window crying as she watches all of her hard work being the good "girl next door" go down the drain. betty's been trying to win archie's heart for decades and i think secretly she figured archie would marry her because she's more wife material than veronica.

veronica lodge is a bitch, and everyone knows that maybe banging the bitch is fun but she isn't marriage material.

but betty was wrong! we were all wrong! archie chose the bitch and left the good girl out in the cold.

it's kind of suspicious that jughead is watching from the window as well--after warning archie about the pitfalls of women for all of these years he is also watching his own hard work go down the drain. jughead knew archie could never marry him, but that didn't stop him from trying to sell archie on a woman-less life.

stephen colbert was right when he said jughead was just a guy in a tiara who hates women. he eats to fill the void left by the knowledge that he can never be with his one true love, archie, and that he'll have to settle for that ugly beanpole ethel.

over the years we've all come to know that jughead is happiest when he's stuffing his face with archie. but maybe what we missed is that what would actually make jughead happy is stuffing his mouth with archie, you know?

the archie/veronica wedding has to be foiled somehow and maybe the writers of the comic should try going in a new direction on this one.

like maybe they should have their wedding in canada but jughead could stand up at the last minute and declare his love, and then he and archie could get married instead.

i think the chances of that happening are pretty slim, but archie did choose veronica which means all bets are off.

1 comment:

m. said...

this idea definitely suits for my personal. plus, the archie empire could capitalize on an entirely new debate: is Archie a top or a bottom?

everyone wins!

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