Thursday, February 26, 2009

as if things aren't bad enough

pamphleteers read today that Warner Bros are in the "early stages" of a remake of the Neverending Story: "Neverending Story arrives at new beginning" (

seriously? someone point out the nearest swamp of sadness, because we're about to throw ourselves in after Artax.

when practically every single movie that comes out is a remake, something is wrong.

when not even the Neverending Story is safe, something is even more wrong. nothing could make the Neverending Story a better movie than it already is, so why ruin it?

apparently, "the new movie will put a modern spin on the material by examining the more nuanced details of the book that were glossed over in the first feature."

there is nothing more suspicious than the phrase "put a modern spin on".

what does that even mean? does that mean that the childlike empress will be wearing something sexier? that in the remake she'll have fake boobs? because in the world of remakes that's what a "modern spin" is.

and who is going to play Atreyu? surely no one but noah hathaway could pull off playing Atreyu. how many kids had their first gender ambiguous crush on Atreyu? who could fill those moccasins?!

and what about the theme song? are they going to modernize that as well??

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