Wednesday, February 25, 2009

show us the way because the devil tryin' to break us down...with pancakes.

mardi gras was yesterday and lent begins today for many of you kooky christians. lent is the forty day long session of fasting and prayer to prepare for Easter, and mardi gras is the equivalent of shaking one's sillies out before lent begins.

for those of you who don't know, forty days represents the number of days that j-dawg was in the desert being tempted by satan(although forty was kind of a common amount of days to have to have to wander, be tempted, or rained on in biblical texts).

for forty days you're supposed to pray, repent, and deny yourself specific things(nowadays anything will do). people give up smoking, chocolate, going to the movies, or their pony play fetish.

apparently it's important to put yourself in j-chrizzle's shoes and try to resist some goddamned temptation once in awhile.

during the early middle ages meat, eggs, and dairy were strictly forbidden. According to Thomas Aquinas they were too pleasurable to eat and eating them resulted in having too much seminal fluid.

lent gets you ready for a big week in christianity: the week the big j "died" and then was all like "hey, rock, stop blocking my tomb, i'm alive!"

however, considering every day that goes by in the next forty will bring the worldwide depression closer and closer, doesn't it seem kind of silly to start giving things up now?

soon enough we'll all be eating shoe soup and travelling on the rails with hobo sticks, but right now shouldn't we enjoy pancakes, cigarettes, beer, and surplus seminal fluid while we still can?


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